Facing the Judgments about Enlistment

"You have a degree, why on EARTH would you enlist? Why not be an officer? Officers get paid more. Why would you want to join the military? You'll give up all your freedoms and become a part of a crazy bureaucracy and you'll be at their mercy at for years to come. You could have a normal, civilian job. Why would you risk being apart from your family? What about your kids? Why would you leave your kids??? You were gone one day recently and your son really missed you." 

Thankfully I have a lot of supporters that drown this out. YES, I have thought about all of this. NO, I often don't take the time to explain myself because I do not need to defend every action I take to everyone who questions me. However, I'll explain now for the benefit of those facing the same scrutiny. If you're trying to enlist and there are people tearing down your decision, please please please read what I have to say.

Yes, I have a degree and I'm enlisting. I applied for OTS and I was not selected. It would have been a lengthy wait to apply again. I just couldn't justify needing to get a new medical waiver every time just for a sliver of a chance. No, enlisting is not settling. Enlisting is a path for me to do what I REALLY want, which is to serve my country. Yes, I will get paid less. Yes, that's ok. Yes, I am aware of the bureaucracy. After 2 years of trying to get in, I've become pretty familiar with it.

The hardest part of BMT, for me, isn't going to be the physical aspect or the routine or the rigid rules. It is going to be missing my kids. My husband is amazing. AMAZING. He is such a great Dad and he has always been my equal in loving and caring for them. I feel like some men take a backseat and let the wife do all the diaper changes and the nitty gritty stuff, but not my husband. I know he will take extra special care of them. My husband has never treated me like the "female" or the "wife" in a stereotypical way. That plays a HUGE part in our decision together for me to enlist. He doesn't stereotype me, he lets me be who I am. He knows me really well, and he knows us, and together we believe we can do this.

I will tell myself what I tell my kids. " When you see the moonlight or the sunlight, remember it's the same that shines on me. No matter how far I am, my love for you crosses the distance"

It's odd to me that women face such criticism when joining the military. When my husband joined there were a few skeptics but for the most part it was "congrats, that's amazing! Thanks for your willingness to serve." I don't remember anyone guilting him for "leaving" his children or myself. However, in my case, I have gotten a LOT of that. "You're going to leave your kids? That tech school is really long, are you sure that's a good idea?" I have friends who've been told they're "too pretty" to enlist. I have friends who serve who come across people in public who openly assume they are a military spouse because of their gender.

Let's get this out of the way real quick. It is no more or less "right" for a man or a woman to enlist. It is no harder or easier on their family depending on their gender. Yes, my children will miss me but they missed their Dad when he was away. They survived; they are strong and smart and amazing and they can do this too.  

Thankfully, I also have tons of support, so the naysayers and the judgers are kept at bay. What those people don't understand is that I never wanted a 9 to 5. I want to serve my country. What that really means is that I choose a job that the Air Force really needs me in. They really need linguists. They really need people who score high enough to even take the DLAB. They desperately need people to pass the DLAB and to go to Monterey and pass a very long, very hard tech school. If anyone can do it, I can. Not to toot my own horn, but I am smart and I'm a fast learner. I don't let things defeat me. If it is hard, I work harder to overcome it. I am what they need right now, and instead of playing it safe with a less difficult job, I have chosen to rise to the opportunity.

Furthermore, beyond the AF demands, this job sounds absolutely right up my alley. I was about to go for admin jobs, and I know that was playing it safe. This is an opportunity to challenge myself, push my boundaries. I have always wanted to learn another language. Here's a very intense but rewarding shot at doing so. It comes with sacrifices. I had to make peace with those and I had to talk with my husband about it. It is hard. I don't make this decision lightly in the least. This is quite possibly one of the most pivotal decisions of my entire life. No pressure. 

 I sat and thought a while about how linguistics scares me a little. The words "high washout" and "extremely difficult" and "really lengthy" echo in my mind. However, I also thought, when have I EVER not tried to do something that I wanted to do because it scared me? When have I ever taken a back seat because something would be challenging? That isn't me. I face my fears for the greater good.  

Yes, it will be hard. Yes, mil-to-mil is hard. Yes, it isn't for everyone. After extensively talking about it, about every detail and every scenario we could think of, my husband and I fully believe we can make it work. We have been through a lot and only ever come out stronger. We communicate well, we are a team, and we can do this. I can do this.

So my message to you, if you are enlisting, is to drown out all the other thoughts and opinions and listen to your own inner voice. Is this right for you? Do you feel in your gut that you want to try? Do you feel in your gut that it is something you feel called to do? Have you considered the pros and the cons? Have you made peace with the challenges? Have you come to terms with deployment and separation from family and friends? If you can face all of that, and still want to serve then you should serve. Don't let someone talk you out of something because it doesn't make sense to them. It has to make sense to YOU. You and your immediate family are the ones who matter here. If you can face this, you will be ok. 

You will look back on your life and you will be grateful you didn't shrink to fit in a hole that other people expected you to settle for. Dream big. Dream so big it scares you. Dream so big that what you accomplish molds you into an even better person. Be the person you are destined to be and don't let anyone dull your sparkle. 

Taking the DLAB- Defense Language Aptitude Battery

On Wednesday, I swore in to the DEP program for the US Air Force. I can't even put into words what this meant for me. I intend to do a post about my experience at MEPS and my "Medical Inspect". However, this post is going to be more about how I've been encouraged to take the DLAB to see if I qualify to be a  cryptologic linguist.

Now, on to prepping. Some people say, "There is no way to study, just go and do your best".

Well..... I don't buy that because I'm me and there is ALWAYS a way to prepare for things. There has to be SOMETHING I can do to prepare. I found a video someone made with her suggestions and resources for doing well.

I've also had several people suggest studying the parts of sentences and sentence structure; predicate, subject, clause, phrase, modifer, etc. I found a few websites by googling and started taking notes because that's the best way for me to remember something is if I write it down. 

This website has 5 ways to study for the DLAB

I will be soaking up all the resources I can google and working hard to do as well as I possibly can. Its really important to me to do my best, even if I'm on the fence a bit still.

Cryptologic Linguist would be an incredibly interesting field, I would love to learn a new language but it is also a very intense field with a very long tech school with a high washout rate. Yes, it would be hard, but I've never been one to shy away because of odds or because something is hard. However, I have to look past all of that and learn what I can so I know if I'd like this job long term.

For now, I'm going to study English grammar and sentence structure and do my best!!! Following the test, I will probably not make another post about the DLAB because I don't want to risk compromising the test or the types of questions on it and get into trouble for doing so. My advice up front is to do what I'm doing and study grammar. It's been a LONG time since I've had to study grammar and while I read a ton and have very good grammar, I don't remember the rules or the names of the main components of a sentence. I have some work to do! 

 Best of luck to you if you're also taking the DLAB! 

FINALLY

After months of waiting and months of completing new tests and having my poor doctor take care of stuff at the drop of a hat... after a full year since I first spoke to my enlisted accessions recruiter... My SG level waiver has been approved!!!! What that means is, I am cleared for military service in the Air Force. 

After all of the effort, tears, frustration, patience and the rest of my crazy mix of feelings, I am allowed the enormous privilige to serve the United States of America as an Airman (after earning it at BMT of course). I have no idea when I'll ship, I am assuming it won't be very soon since everyone I've talked to lately has waited quite a while to ship. 

However, it is time to kick some SERIOUS butt in fitness and nutrition. It's hard to keep up motivation preparing for something you "hope" will happen, but this is happening! Now I need to really focus and take extra good care of this body of mine so that I can be strong and prepared for BMT. Yesterday I worked out while imagining an MTI yelling at me. That sounds kind of silly, but honestly, I thought to myself, "If there was an MTI here, would this cut it? Am I giving it my all or am I phoning it in?" Anyway, it was a killer workout. 

I just wanted to post an update and let everyone who follows this blog know I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth! The last few months, I've just been trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do if I didn't get in. I spent so much time trying to enlist that I was feeling kind of lost. I literally had applied to dozens of jobs in my area trying to start my career (I have a Bachelor's in Business). 

My recruiter's phone call came at the perfect time. I was feeling low because I had been passed over for a REALLY good job. After her phone call tons of emails appeared in my inbox, "Thank you for applying, but we've decided to go with more qualified candidates."

Sayonara civilian world (for now). I finally have something I wanted far more than any job. Serving in the Air Force, for me, isn't about the benefits or the pay. It's about the unique experiences, the discipline and over all the privilege to serve my country. It's about developing myself into the best version of me. It's about doing something I've always wanted to do but thought my chance had passed. 

Now, time for a run! 

Monday Motivation, a.k.a. A swift kick in the pants

I have been majorly busy. Like.... I don't even know how to think straight, I'm exhausted and worn out to the point that I'm finally coming down with what I refer to as "kid plague".... the string of illnesses you get when you work with kids.

I am willing to bet that most of us feel like that sometimes, if not almost all the time. Life is so busy and crazy and full of events that we find it hard to find "me" time and focus on what we NEED for ourselves and our sanity.

I've been reading, "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero and it is AMAZING. Pure gold for anyone who is needing a kick in the pants and some extra motivation.

You see, if we aren't where we want to be or need to be, we should be doing something each day to bring us closer. You need to just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

I don't know for SURE what my absolute calling is in life. However.... I do know:

• I need to make a living wage that earns me financial stability and the ability to pay off my student loans
• I need to make a difference in other people's lives 
• I need to challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone
• I need to be able to use my creativity in some way, shape or form

I'm not gonna lie. My current job just isn't what I need. It isn't what I want. It doesn't take care of those at all. I didn't go to school to be a teacher and I feel so out of place right now. Like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Some people are so good at what I do, but I'm just not. And that's ok. 

However, I'm going to let you in on a little secret! The ONLY way that I'll get to where I want to be, is if I make the most of where I'm at RIGHT NOW. The same counts for you too! 

Where I'm at is a stepping stone. If I whine and gripe and complain, I'll only succeed in making myself miserable. If I look around at people who are succeeding and I allow myself to get jealous and feel sorry for myself, I'll spiral downward into a hole. Instead, I am going to find the ways that my current situation and job works for me.

I choose positivity. I choose to work hard and do my absolute best. I choose to excel and have a high work ethic and do everything I can to be the best I can. I will do what I can with where I'm at until I can build myself a stairway to something that suits me better. Be it personal training, enlisting in the military, or interior design.... whatever it is that I'm destined to do is out there waiting for me and I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

You must do the same. If you want to do better and be better, then you need to just do your best every single day and keep working hard. No one ever met their goals by moping and feeling sorry for themselves. We only get to where we want to be by putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.

Ok, so enough of the pep talk. Go out, do your thang, and do it well. Give this day everything you've got!!!! Don't half-ass any of it! Even if you're tired out, even if you're grumpy, even if this is the most monday-ish monday EVER. Go out and kill it. This day is one day you will NEVER get back, so what are you going to do today to bring you one little step closer?

Vegan Strawberry Shakeology Mug Cake

Does anyone else lose their marbles when you click on a link to a recipe in a blog and there are 20 bazillion paragraphs going on and on about the inspiration and story behind the recipe? It kind of drives me nuts.... So....I'm not going to do that to you.

I like cake. Cake usually isn't healthy. I like healthy mug cakes. I don't like chocolate cake very much so I made this instead. End of story. Enjoy!!!

Vegan Strawberry Shakeology Mug Cake

- 1 packet vegan strawberry shakeology
- 1/2 tsp. baking powder
- 1 tbsp. olive or coconut oil
- 1 tbsp. milk sub (almond milk or coconut milk)
- 1 large egg
- pinch of salt
- stevia to taste if desired
- fresh strawberries diced, optional to add a small amount of stevia to help sweeten them if tart

Mix the dry ingredients first and then add the wet and mix well, Microwave 2-3 minutes checking often. As soon as it sets up and pulls away from the edges of the mug, it is done. If you overcook it, it will be very dry!

It should come out of the mug very easily. Put it in a bowl and top with the strawberries. Enjoy!

Living Life By Design

Think about that for a moment. What does it even mean to live life by your own design? REALLY think about it. If you could be anywhere, doing anything, wearing anything.... what would that life look like if you had absolutely no limitations? If money and other people's opinions were of no consequence....It's hard to imagine because we typically DO have limitations. So really stretch yourself for a minute and humor me. What if you didn't??? What does that life look like for you?

We think we know what we want, but sometimes we forget to stretch our dreams a little bit further. We settle. At least, I know I have been settling at least to some extent.

I have a dream. I want to enlist in the military. People sometimes chuckle, "Wow, what made you choose to join so late in life?" I reply that the dream was always there but I didn't have the courage to pursue it. I am also a firm believer that it's never too late to chase a dream. Yup, nearly 30 years old and working on enlisting in the Air Force.

However, I'm facing the realization once again that it just might not happen. I'm stuck in a sea of medical paperwork and potential disqualification. I'm waiting for MEPS to make a decision so I can move forward with life.

That is the big mistake. Right there. The waiting for MEPS to give me permission to live my life. No one can do that. Only I can decide to live my life the way I want to. 

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. If I do get disqualified, what do I want my life to look like? The two options are so entirely different, but I have to be ok if I get disqualified. I have to keep living, and keep being happy. My life's purpose can't hinge on something that may or may not happen.

Who is the girl who moves on from permanent disqualification from the military? Can I see her in my mind? For so long I've seen the woman in uniform, proudly doing whatever Uncle Sam asks so that she can serve her country. That is her most important purpose. That is her calling. But.... what about the other girl? What about the one who doesn't wear a uniform? Who is she and what is her ultimate purpose?

That question has stared me in the face for a while now, and I pushed it aside, choosing to "be positive" and assume I'd get to be the woman in uniform. It's just not healthy or realistic to let that be my only future purpose. Even if I do get into the military, what if something happened and I was discharged? I can't let that be my only identity. I am a human being whose worth is not determined by what I choose to do for a living.

After all this thinking, I'm starting to see who she is again.

This person, no matter what she wears, where she lives or who she does or doesn't work for; She strives to be a good person to have a positive impact on others around her. She strives to see her flaws and weaknesses and actively works on improving those weaknesses. She is spunky and a little eccentric, and quite proud of it. She serves other people. No matter how she does it, no matter what her specific method of doing it is, above all else, she serves PEOPLE. She is proud to be a little different, rocking her long, jet black hair and her tattoos (of which she fully intends to get more). She makes good money and is successful, but she doesn't need all that much to be happy. She just wants to live life comfortably, to be able to travel, to be able to provide well for her family. She rocks her affinity for all things fitness and just smiles when people call her a "health nut" because she knows it's actually a compliment. She has overcome her bad relationship with food and wants to help others do the same. She tries her best to inspire others who in turn inspire her. She knows that life is about people. Life is about collecting moments and experiences and transferring those experiences into something meaningful for others. She knows life is too short to let other people define her worth. She knows that everyone deserves to feel empowered and everyone deserves to have self-worth. No matter how those people find it, they deserve it. They won't always use "her way", and that's ok. As long as people are happy, that is really all that matters. She knows all of this without a single bit of doubt. No matter where life takes her, she won't forget this. 

So who are you really? Outside of what you do and how you think people see you.... who are you absolutely destined to be? Peel off the layers and find out. That is today's PSA.

Make this a beautiful week. If you're unhappy and something just seems off, make a change. A big change or a little change; it doesn't matter as long as you're moving in the right direction.

Today, I chose to make a BIG change.

I needed a bad week.

Well, that sounds kind of silly, doesn't it? Shouldn't you focus on eating healthy all the time? Shouldn't you focus on total and complete focus and motivation? Shouldn't you find ways to avoid "bad" weeks?

Yes and no. Theoretically, we'll have better results if we go hard all the time and stick to our plan. However, we're humans and no robots. Our emotional well-being is more important than our physical well-being. If our mind is not in the right place, it's hard to force our body to do what we think we need it to do.

I needed a break this past week. I didn't eat horribly, but I didn't measure everything out. I had a few cheats. I didn't work out every single day. In fact, I remembered what it's like to just live again. At first I felt an intense guilt. "I'm failing", I thought. I realized then, I had no intention of quitting. I just needed to remember again why I started. I spent a couple of my normal "workout times" cuddling my children and having a family movie night. I needed it. I really, really did. I just started back to work after 5 years of being a stay-at-home-mom and I missed them and I needed that time. It was more important to me than working out.

I'm going to let you in on a VERY important secret. Please, if you never care about or read another word from this blog ever, at least take this to heart:

Having a bad day, a bad week or a bad month does NOT mean you have failed. You are not "starting over" when you begin eating well again and staying active. You are resuming your journey. The ONLY thing that matters is that you never give up. 

A healthy mind and body require balance. It's ok to have a cheat. It's ok to skip a workout once in a while if I just feel absolutely exhausted. A healthy lifestyle should make you feel amazing, not burnt out and frustrated. Living healthy should not feel like we are punishing ourselves for not being where we want to be.

The minute you start feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, I want you to remember that being healthy shouldn't be a chore that makes you miserable. It should be your goal to find balance, to take some "you time" when you need it and to rest when you need it. Your life and your health isn't always going to fit neatly into a program or a schedule and that is OK!!!!

That's not to say that you should just throw a schedule out the window. Try to stick to your plans to meet your goals. You need to have consistency to some extent to be successful. However, there are times where breaking is not only ok, but necessary for your well-being. If you need to break from your plans, don't punish yourself or let guilt set in. Just determine how you're going to do better tomorrow.

I hope you have a beautiful week. I hope you find ways to recharge this weekend, and come back strong and ready to face and overcome challenges. Don't punish yourself for not meeting a goal! Instead, find a way to make it more doable and try, try again!