SAHM to Airman!

I took a little break. I faced a period of time where I was honestly not doing that great. I was afraid to post anything negative because I want my blog to be a source of positivity and encouragement. I went through a couple weeks of just feeling down and a little lost. I kept chugging along, but I felt like I had to take the time to care for myself. I was embarrassed for feeling that way. I'm supposed to be inspiring people, so why was I having a pity party? I hid it.

Then a lightbulb went off. I am not being authentic with you by hiding my difficult days. That is part of this journey. In life, in ANYTHING we do, we are going to face ups and downs.

I could lie to you and say everything is unicorns and rainbows ALL the time. I could pretend like this is easy. But that would be just that... a lie.

This is not easy, guys. When you see someone looking all super fitty at the gym, with gorgeous arms, toned, flat abs, chiseled legs.... It doesn't come easy to them either, even if they make it look easy. It takes time. It takes falling and getting back up. I think if you asked most athletes, they would tell you that they have plenty of disappointing days. Days where they weren't able to meet their goal or days they cheated. It happens. It's part of being human.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret I've finally started to learn. The ONLY difference between you and that person you admire for being fit/successful/[insert positive human trait here] is that they have been failing, climbing back up and succeeding longer. They have fallen down more times, and kept getting back up more times.

The difference is just that they keep getting back up. They keep trying after failing. They don't quit.

That's it. That's the difference. You can be anything you hope to be if you keep getting back up no matter how many times you fall. No matter how many times you fall off of the wagon or skip a workout, as long as you decide to do better the next day, you are succeeding. It applies everywhere in life. No matter how many failures you have, as long as you keep dusting yourself off and moving forward, you will get to where you want to be.

I just went through that period of time where I needed to get back up. I am waiting for my medical clearance to come back. The fate of my future for the next SIX years (at least) lies on someone's desk somewhere. After 2 years of this, of medical records and paperwork and trying to convince MEPS that I'm fit for military service, I am still hanging on by a little thread. After two years of being calm and positive and the picture of a positive attitude, I just got fed up and frustrated. I fell.

I'm not a perfect example of patience and positivity. Sometimes I get into a rut. Sometimes I have to fight to get my good attitude back. It's not magic. There were days recently where I skipped workouts, felt crappy about it, and turned to crappy food to try and make myself feel better. Luckily, I was able to snap myself out of it. I recognized my pity party for what it was, and every day my goal was just to do a little better.

Now I am feeling better. I have realized that it was essential for me to share this. I am back to feeling vibrant and excited. I am filled with motivation and anticipation for what my future holds. I'm pumped and ready to go!

I want you to know that it is OK to not feel that fire sometimes. You still need to keep chugging along as best you can. Don't give up with the fire in you needs re-kindling. Keep moving forward and keep looking for a spark. You'll find it so long as you continue getting up.

Please, trust me. Just get up. <3