"You have a degree, why on EARTH would you enlist? Why not be an officer? Officers get paid more. Why would you want to join the military? You'll give up all your freedoms and become a part of a crazy bureaucracy and you'll be at their mercy at for years to come. You could have a normal, civilian job. Why would you risk being apart from your family? What about your kids? Why would you leave your kids??? You were gone one day recently and your son really missed you."
Thankfully I have a lot of supporters that drown this out. YES, I have thought about all of this. NO, I often don't take the time to explain myself because I do not need to defend every action I take to everyone who questions me. However, I'll explain now for the benefit of those facing the same scrutiny. If you're trying to enlist and there are people tearing down your decision, please please please read what I have to say.
Yes, I have a degree and I'm enlisting. I applied for OTS and I was not selected. It would have been a lengthy wait to apply again. I just couldn't justify needing to get a new medical waiver every time just for a sliver of a chance. No, enlisting is not settling. Enlisting is a path for me to do what I REALLY want, which is to serve my country. Yes, I will get paid less. Yes, that's ok. Yes, I am aware of the bureaucracy. After 2 years of trying to get in, I've become pretty familiar with it.
The hardest part of BMT, for me, isn't going to be the physical aspect or the routine or the rigid rules. It is going to be missing my kids. My husband is amazing. AMAZING. He is such a great Dad and he has always been my equal in loving and caring for them. I feel like some men take a backseat and let the wife do all the diaper changes and the nitty gritty stuff, but not my husband. I know he will take extra special care of them. My husband has never treated me like the "female" or the "wife" in a stereotypical way. That plays a HUGE part in our decision together for me to enlist. He doesn't stereotype me, he lets me be who I am. He knows me really well, and he knows us, and together we believe we can do this.
I will tell myself what I tell my kids. " When you see the moonlight or the sunlight, remember it's the same that shines on me. No matter how far I am, my love for you crosses the distance"
It's odd to me that women face such criticism when joining the military. When my husband joined there were a few skeptics but for the most part it was "congrats, that's amazing! Thanks for your willingness to serve." I don't remember anyone guilting him for "leaving" his children or myself. However, in my case, I have gotten a LOT of that. "You're going to leave your kids? That tech school is really long, are you sure that's a good idea?" I have friends who've been told they're "too pretty" to enlist. I have friends who serve who come across people in public who openly assume they are a military spouse because of their gender.
Let's get this out of the way real quick. It is no more or less "right" for a man or a woman to enlist. It is no harder or easier on their family depending on their gender. Yes, my children will miss me but they missed their Dad when he was away. They survived; they are strong and smart and amazing and they can do this too.
Thankfully, I also have tons of support, so the naysayers and the judgers are kept at bay. What those people don't understand is that I never wanted a 9 to 5. I want to serve my country. What that really means is that I choose a job that the Air Force really needs me in. They really need linguists. They really need people who score high enough to even take the DLAB. They desperately need people to pass the DLAB and to go to Monterey and pass a very long, very hard tech school. If anyone can do it, I can. Not to toot my own horn, but I am smart and I'm a fast learner. I don't let things defeat me. If it is hard, I work harder to overcome it. I am what they need right now, and instead of playing it safe with a less difficult job, I have chosen to rise to the opportunity.
Furthermore, beyond the AF demands, this job sounds absolutely right up my alley. I was about to go for admin jobs, and I know that was playing it safe. This is an opportunity to challenge myself, push my boundaries. I have always wanted to learn another language. Here's a very intense but rewarding shot at doing so. It comes with sacrifices. I had to make peace with those and I had to talk with my husband about it. It is hard. I don't make this decision lightly in the least. This is quite possibly one of the most pivotal decisions of my entire life. No pressure.
I sat and thought a while about how linguistics scares me a little. The words "high washout" and "extremely difficult" and "really lengthy" echo in my mind. However, I also thought, when have I EVER not tried to do something that I wanted to do because it scared me? When have I ever taken a back seat because something would be challenging? That isn't me. I face my fears for the greater good.
Yes, it will be hard. Yes, mil-to-mil is hard. Yes, it isn't for everyone. After extensively talking about it, about every detail and every scenario we could think of, my husband and I fully believe we can make it work. We have been through a lot and only ever come out stronger. We communicate well, we are a team, and we can do this. I can do this.
So my message to you, if you are enlisting, is to drown out all the other thoughts and opinions and listen to your own inner voice. Is this right for you? Do you feel in your gut that you want to try? Do you feel in your gut that it is something you feel called to do? Have you considered the pros and the cons? Have you made peace with the challenges? Have you come to terms with deployment and separation from family and friends? If you can face all of that, and still want to serve then you should serve. Don't let someone talk you out of something because it doesn't make sense to them. It has to make sense to YOU. You and your immediate family are the ones who matter here. If you can face this, you will be ok.
You will look back on your life and you will be grateful you didn't shrink to fit in a hole that other people expected you to settle for. Dream big. Dream so big it scares you. Dream so big that what you accomplish molds you into an even better person. Be the person you are destined to be and don't let anyone dull your sparkle.
